First Fantasy Log #5: Arrested for Werewolf Crimes

The Walse Meteor looms in front of the party, stone facade revealing nothing. Now that we’re all prepared for the worst, let us step inside and greet whichever aliens, hostile or otherwise, that may be present.

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Kinda… empty. And small. Anyone home?

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First Fantasy Log #4: Just Walse-ing Around! Characters Die in This Update.

You already know what it is. Walse Tower awaits! Any and all cliff hanging ends here. Time to get my ass beat by arugula a garula.

The tower reveals a simple layout, consisting of a series of short floors connected by stairs… and some holes in the ground. Wait- hold that thought.

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Faris learned Learning!

Continue reading “First Fantasy Log #4: Just Walse-ing Around! Characters Die in This Update.”

First Fantasy Log #3.5: Plot Supplement

When I first started this gameplay diary, it was under the assumption/misconception that everyone had played a Final Fantasy game but me. Furthermore, once I got to the writing itself, I was writing with the intent that my audience would all be people I knew who had played FF5. It turns out that’s not exactly the case, and this supplementary entry is my plan to rectify that.

After the cut, I’ll be going over the main characters we’ve met so far and the events of the plot that I’ve mostly been skimming through in the updates. In future gameplay updates, I’ll try to devote more space to the actual plot of the game, so ideally there won’t be too many of these supplements going forward.

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First Fantasy Log #3: If You’re Reading This, The Game Gave Me A Free Drake

Welcome back! The party emerges victorious from the sunken ship zone, still swatting seaweed off and wringing out their hair. The first look at the overworld proper is… kinda scary honestly. You just gotta walk until you find shit! It rules!

I don’t have a great pic for the preview here so let’s cut right to the read-more:

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First Fantasy: A Project Explained

Hello. My name is Mal, and I have a confession to make: I’ve never played a Final Fantasy game. I mean, I’ve played some of the spin-offs like Tactics or Crystal Chronicles, and I’ve played a lot of FFXIV but like, that doesn’t really count*. It’s an MMO and it plays like an MMO. I’ve never played a numbered, main series, single-player, classic, JRPG-ass Final Fantasy title. My shame as a self-proclaimed RPG fan! How can I possibly know shit about anything RPG without having played a single one of them?

When I asked my friends for recommendations on FF games to start with, the response was genuinely surprising. Almost all of my friends had finished multiple titles, and over the course of everyone weighing in, I think every single numbered release had been spoken for**. Everyone I knew had a personal relationship with something in this series; at least one of these games had resounded with them. As the recommendations poured in, my fears were realised. I seem to be the only person I know who gives even a passing shit about video games who has managed to not play a single Final Fantasy. Combining that with my tendency to not finish half the games I start, I felt the gamer clout rapidly draining from my body. I had to do something drastic.

First Fantasy is going to be a written record of me actually playing through a Final Fantasy main-line game. As far as format goes, I’m aiming somewhere between an actual article and those old text-based LPs from the pre-YouTube era of GameFAQs and the SA board. The term I’m settling on for this project is “gaming diary,” and the rules will be as follows:

  1. I have to finish the game. I will define “finished” as beating the final boss and/or a credit roll. I know there’s bonus bosses or something in these games but I don’t care. I’m not trying to 100% anything here, as will be reinforced by the next rule.
  2. I will not look up anything to do with the game until I have finished playing it. No spoilers, no gameplay tips, no secret items or boss locations or whatever. If I manage to completely break a job system, it will be via my own experimentation. I’ve somehow managed to live for 23 years without knowing anything about these games so why would I ruin that now? Also this is like, the main hook of this series. Don’t be ridiculous.
  3. When I am playing the game, I won’t listen to other music with the game on mute. I know this one probably sounds weird but trust me. The amount of video game music I’ve skipped or ignored would amaze you. I have too much brain space devoted to memories of playing FFXIV while listening to 2 Chainz. Technically, I’ve already ignored some of these songs before. I can’t hear Los Campesinos! without immediately thinking of Maple Story. It’s probably my worst habit as someone who plays video games and I won’t let it interfere with my RPG fundamentals education plan.

As for the diary, I plan to post here at least once a week, possibly more than that if it’s going well. I’ve already decided my inaugural Final Fantasy game will be Final Fantasy 5, specifically the GBA port, played via emulator. It came recommended by a translator friend of mine specifically for its great localisation. I have no idea what to expect and I’m very excited!

Next Time: I dig in to FFV! For the very first time!


*If you catch me in a certain mood, I’d probably say FFTA is my favourite game of all time. Definitely top 5. And FFXIV is probably the best MMO ever made on the level of objective fact.

**Except for FF2. Sorry to FF2, the least loved FF game by the metric of “people I know’s opinions on Final Fantasy games.”